John 20:24-25
“Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord.’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.’”
I doubt that it was by accident that Thomas wasn’t in the room when Jesus first appeared to the other disciples. In reading the gospels we often see the intentionality of Jesus when he did something; the case of Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman is a good example. While traveling Jesus tells his disciples he HAS to go through Samaria; that “HAS” was intentionality. I guess it could have been by happenstance that Thomas wasn’t there, but by his absence it would be another teaching opportunity for Jesus.
When the disciples tell Thomas “we have seen the Lord” there is no way he is going to believe them. Thomas wants physical proof; he wants to see the nail holes, put his finger in them AND the hole in Jesus’ side. But, it’s the last phrase from Thomas that says the most to me; “I will never believe.” Thomas was forcefully adamant that he would NEVER believe in the resurrected Christ unless he could put his finger in Jesus’ wounds. There might be a bit of hyperbole on Thomas’ part as he’s saying this; as though this would be the ONLY proof he would believe. Is he really discounting the idea of simply seeing Jesus, or hearing his voice, or Jesus coming to him in a dream and proclaiming “I’ alive!” Or, was there something else beneath the surface of Thomas.
When I hear Thomas say “I will never believe” in the dogmatic way he did it reminds of similar things I’ve heard Christians say over the years; behind their statements rings great disappointment. The people (including myself at times) have a woundedness that comes from some disappointment with God; God let them down, God didn’t answer a prayer, God allowed a loved one to die, God didn’t come through when somebody really needed him, God still hasn’t come through after all these year, or God allowed some other pain that was nearly overpowering, and it has lodged itself in the person’s heart and mind for considerable time. Each of these people, like Thomas, would identify themselves as disciples of Jesus.
A few examples come to my mind; I spoke with a young guy not too long ago who carried the wound of God allowing his sister to die at a young age. I once spoke with a woman in her late twenties whose six year old daughter had developed Leukemia; she carried the wound of her daughter’s illness. I had a conversation with a man once who explained to me that his daughter had been molested by a ministry worker in the Church; in his wounded state I think he would like to place his hands around that guys neck and squeeze until his eyeballs popped out.
In each of these people I heard comments very similar to what Thomas said when he announced “I will never believe.” This causes me to wonder if Thomas had felt and experienced great disappointment with Jesus. All of the promises that Jesus spoke of; his announcement that HE was the Messiah, the proclamation of the arrival of the Kingdom of God, and the promise of eternal life had likely lodged themselves in Thomas’ mind somewhere and he, like the other disciples (and like us today) put great hope in Jesus. Thomas knew that Jesus had holes in his hands, feet and side, and he knew that Jesus had died, and with his death he took all of the promises. I could see Thomas being disappointed in all that.
“Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’” (v26)
Once again Jesus performs his walking through the door or wall deal; maybe that alone caused Thomas to believe that it really was Jesus and he was alive. That might have convinced me—in fact, if that happened at my house today, I would surely believe.
Jesus offers that same greeting “peace be with you,” or, “may God give you every good thing.” What a juxtaposition Jesus’ statement was as it fell upon the ears of Thomas who was probably doubting that anything good existed in the world anymore.
“Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.’ Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’” (v27-28) The first thing Jesus does is offer proof in the form that Thomas demanded—he shows him his hands and offers him his side.
When Mary Magdalene first encountered Jesus at the tomb, she didn’t recognize him until he spoke her name. Her response was “Rabboni”—teacher. When Thomas sees Jesus and his wounds his first words were “My Lord and my God!” All of our first responses to Jesus are different; each of us sees him in our lives in different ways and through the lens of different needs. Some people respond first to Jesus intellectually, others first respond to Jesus as a healer, or a helper, or a provider.
When Jesus extends his hands to Thomas, I can’t help but think there something going on that is incredibly deep; it’s almost as though Jesus shows Thomas his own wounds and is saying, without saying it, “I did this for you, for all your wounds, for all your disappointments, for the whole worlds disappointments; this is what my death bought–my wounds for your wounds.”
“Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.’ Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.” (v29-31)
Jesus gives Thomas perspective in these moments; he’s saying “Thomas, you now believe because you’ve seen my wounds—that’s what you demanded, but there are people who have already believed and who will believe and they’ll never see what you’ve seen!” I can imagine that Thomas looked a bit sheepish at this moment, perhaps even lowering his head over his foolishness to demand to see the wounds of Jesus as proof of him being alive.
John makes a great point when he says “Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book.” Throughout Jesus’ ministry many people saw the miraculous signs Jesus did, but never became his disciples—they never believed that he was the Son of God. Proof, as Thomas found out, isn’t the tipping point of our belief, it’s faith given to us by God’s Holy Spirit. John indicated that he was writing the things he did so others, others who would read what he had written might believe. Those who would believe because they read would believe out of faith, having never seen Jesus in the flesh.
All of those people (and many more) that I’ve spoken with who carry their disappointment with God with them because of their wounds, unfortunately place the blame for their wounds on God, wanting to know why he allowed something to happen to them. But what they fail to see is the same thing that Thomas failed to see– Jesus’ wounds were for the healing of Thomas’ woundedness…and theirs too.
