Poison ivy really is poison

Wild strawberries are the sweetest

Lilacs blossoms don’t last long enough

Billy Graham is beautiful

Third grade kids can be cruel

Toy soldiers are slaves

Milk Duds can be used as a bribe

Heroes die too soon

Permanent teeth aren’t permanent on a playground

Class clowns are insecure

School lunches taste great when you’ve never had one

The Salvation Army was God’s idea

Neighbors want to be left alone to swim in their own pool

Mrs. Bartel loved teaching 6th graders

Fresh baking bread smells best early in the morning on cold days

Kids who like to spend money make bad paperboys

Black kids and white kids could be best of friends even in the 60’s

It’s hard to play basketball in socks on a gym floor

An Ohio tomato in August is manna

The high dive at Schoonover Pool was high

Walking on a railroad rail is easier for a ten year old than a fifty year old

I use to be able to run fast

A Dr. Pepper can last for hours at the basketball court when you’re twelve

Jesus shows up at Vacation Bible School

Moms make great sacrifices

Little brothers can be quite annoying

Eight people can live in an 810 square foot house

The inventor of Chum Gum was a genius

Toothbrushes are good things

It hurts when you wreck a mini bike in the street

French fries cooked in lard taste best

Dreams don’t always come true

Almost anybody can beat me up

Watching your school burn can be fun

A temperature of 103.5 makes you feel hot

Old men with arthritis can be cranky

Jumping off a garage roof at 10 is felt when your 53

Coke in bottles tastes better than Coke in cans

Male teachers used to paddle harder than female teachers

Teenage boys’ feet stink after playing basketball

Summer school isn’t fun

Jimmy Spees had a great Ft. Apache playset

Fresh mown grass makes you glad you’re alive

God knew what he was doing when he made girls

Sour milk is lumpy and doesn’t taste very good

Tom Jones is a stud

Cussing around little kids will cause a parent to call the police on you

Manure smells good at the County Fair but no place else

Cars get wrecked at a Demolition Derby

Grandmas are special creations of God

Walls don’t move when you crash into them while roller skating

The Kewpee is the best hamburger in the world

The theme song from Bewitched was cool

Smelling like fish will never get you a date

Elvis danced better than Michael Jackson

Unrequited love can last a long time

A car engine doesn’t work without oil in it

Green bananas are the best

45 rpm record fly really far when thrown

Mother Theresa was the best mother in the world

Kissing as an expression of affection is better than slugging a girl

Girls bikes should have been made for boys

Mosquitoes suck

My mom looked a lot like Santa Claus

College gave me a big head

Chugging a Hires Root Beer will create one huge belch

A friend will never get off the teeter totter when you’re in the air

Every family has a black sheep

A day never lasts longer than 24 hours

Hospital laundries are not pleasant places to work

Cats don’t like baths

Elephants never came when Tarzan yelled

Running a marathon hurts

Isuzu makes a bad vehicle

Dads worry about sick sons

Divorce is diabolical

Men don’t have to be drunk to dance

Lingerie is the best foreplay

Soft cookies are better than crispy cookies

You need your mother

Prayer works

Chuck E. Cheese is a rat

Newspapers don’t tell the whole story

People change

Canadian geese will chase you if you get too close to them

Playing full court basketball one-on-one makes you tired

Walt Disney was Sunday nights

I miss Jimmy Stewart

God doesn’t want us to go to church; he wants us to be the church

Jesus loves me