The Never Ending, Everlasting Gobstopper

I was spending time with God this morning; lately, for some reason, my times with God have been challenging in that there seems to be a heaviness that I cannot see weighing on me—a heaviness that no scale can weigh that keeps me from God.

It’s an oppression that sits on my shoulders like the awkwardness of a person one carries in a chicken fight in a swimming pool, with unseen tugging, unseen pressure as though invisible legs and arms are wrapped around me wanting to hold me in place, not allowing me to move, move toward God.

There seems to be a pushing of everything except God into my mind, a pushing like shoving a banana through a sieve, while I’m attempting to get centered on God. So I altered my approach to God differently. I opened my Bible to Luke 1; I had been meditating on Mary’s Magnificat in preparation for the Advent Season and a teaching that I’ll be sharing with our congregation.

Because of the oppression I decided to go on the offensive like Benjamin Martin in the movie The Patriot as he led the charge against the British while trying to convince his troops not to retreat.

I simply began to praise God by praying through the Magnificat. In her own words Mary understood the chosen position she was in and how God was weaving some new story into her life. I had Terry MacAlmon’s CD Live Worship playing and the song You Deserve the Glory washed over me like a warm bath and I found that place with God I’d been searching for.

When I reached verse 51 where Luke records “He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts” the Holy Spirit stormed into my consciousness and thoughts began to explode like fireworks across a July 4^th sky. They were explosion of revelation of knowledge of God and the knowledge of me.

I’m awestruck in moments like this with God, how he pulls the curtain back and shows me what’s really behind it like Dorothy did with the Wizard in Oz. I’m convinced when I allow myself to retreat from all the clamor of life and settle into a quiet corner with God he takes me on a journey that’s deeper than can be measured.

A subdued grief overcame me as the Holy Spirit reminded me of what he’s rescued and saved me from. Memories came in torrents like a wild river into and out of my mind; days when I was arrogant and pride-filled, a great liar, a wretched thief, a hopeless teen, helpless in everyway. In that moment I sang with Mary my own personal Magnificat.

An image flashed through my mind in those moments of a sucker, a lollipop, something like a Tootsie Pop…and God pulled the curtain back further, and there working the controls of my life sat Bitterness. I cannot explain how God does what he does in my mind when he grants me this kind of revelation; it’s somewhat akin to a gardener shoving a handheld trowel into the ground to root out a carrot.

 The thought of a lollipop instantly gave way to the thought of the Never Ending, Everlasting Gobstopper from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Even I thought it a bit strange, but God, as the Holy Uncreated One works in great mystery.

I saw the image of the Never Ending, Everlasting Gobstopper being the bitterness I’ve carried in life. I saw bitterness as a Never Ending Gobstopper that I’ve kept going back to it to, to have another lick. When I do I allow it to swirl in my mouth, rest on my tongue, until I get comfortably sticky with it and the flavor languishes for a long time.

The sweetness stimulates my memories, my thoughts, my wounds, and after some period of time the flavor dissipates and my saliva returns to the natural moisture, the natural tasteless liquid that’s constant and I’ve swallowed the last bit of Gobstopper juice.

I’m content for a while until I find myself craving the past, another taste of it, and I reach into the pockets of my mind and pull out my Never Ending, Everlasting Gobstopper for a few more licks.

The Gobstopper is never reduced in size; Gobstoppers, by nature of what they are can’t be diminished. Gobstoppers have to be thrown away if the life of them is to ever come to an end.

But getting rid of a Gobstopper is hard; it tastes so good, its addictive in a seductive way; its seductive because I can’t really see what it is that’s pleasing…it’s all on the inside…the ingredients. Ironically, the Never Ending, Everlasting Gobstopper in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was designed for poor kids who didn’t have the money to afford better candy—they were meant to last forever, and, they never lost their flavor.

Once birthed in me, I discovered that bitterness could last forever, just like a Gobstopper, as long as I’m allowing it a place in me. It took Mary’s Magnificat, in a time of pure worship to reveal what was keeping me from worship.

 

Why We Should Go Green!

Going Green has been pushed to the forefront of important issues in our culture over the past few years…and I believe rightfully so.

But, my reason for being a Green proponent probably runs contrary to the mainstream. I believe we need to go Green and value the earth, nature and natural resources because all of that reflects the glory of God.

Hundreds, perhaps thousands of groups and organizations have many reasons for promoting living Green; better air quality, the diminishing supply of fossil fuels, clean water and a sustainable future. There’s nothing wrong with most of those things, in fact they’re admirable pursuits.

However, I believe there is potentially GREAT DANGER in our quest for going Green.

The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 1:20 “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.”

Would any of us deny that the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, the California Red Wood Forest, Cathedral Rock, Valley of Fire, Glacier National Park, the Everglades and even Ruby Falls in Tennessee reflect a Creator?

In the first moments when our eyes catch sight of these places, doesn’t our own significance and importance disappear when the breath is sucked out of us—at least for a few seconds–and we are overwhelmed with the thought that what we’re looking at is bigger than we are and it was put here by Something greater than we are.

Thirty years ago I thought nothing of tossing a Big Mac container out the window of my car when I was driving. I thought nothing of taking the oil from my car that I’d just changed and pouring it along the fence line in my back yard to keep weeds at bay.

But, last night my wife and I went through the drive thru at Taco Bell; I took the wrapper off my straw for the cup of water I was drinking, rolled it into a ball, and even though my window was down I couldn’t throw the paper out the window. I do that because I know that our world still bears the image of the One who created it, and I don’t want to diminish creation nor dishonor the Creator.

The potential great danger in our quest for going Green is that we do it for us, rather than for God. Many pursue Green living because they value nature more than the One who created nature, as such they worship nature and not God.

There’s a GREATER DANGER yet though. With an extreme promotion of going and living Green many proponents believe that if enough pressure is applied to society, then the individuals in society will conform to going and living Green. Then, those same principles are applied in other areas of society, as in Health Care Reform. Apply the same pressure to Health Care Reform and society will conform to the idea that everybody deserves adequate health care (which I believe they do).

In applying pressure to society for Health Care Reform we demonstrate that we’re a better, more progressive people; people who are caring. In doing so we mandate that people be coerced into caring for people, rather than caring for people because Jesus cared for people and taught his disciples that they should care for people too. Again, we make it all about us, rather than all about God, and the fact that he created grace and mercy, love and compassion for people.

If we extrapolate all this out what we discover is that many people believe that you can change the human heart through coercion or legislation or government mandate; and, that people will really care for the earth (going Green) and people (thru available health care).

But, Jesus proved that it was the human heart that was evil and selfish that needed to be changed if we’re going to truly care for the things that are important to God…like his creation—both people and the planet.

 

Martin Luther King, Jr. “Rediscovering Lost Values” February 28, 1954

There is something wrong with our world, something fundamentally and basically wrong…And when we stop to analyze the cause of our world’s ills, many things come to mind. We begin to wonder if it is due to the fact that we don’t know enough. But it can’t be that. Because in terms of accumulated knowledge we know more today than men have known in any period of human history…I think we have to look much deeper than that if we are to find the real cause of man’s problems and the real cause of the world’s ills today.

If we are to really find it I think we will have to look in the hearts and souls of men…The great problem facing modern man is that, that the means by which we live have outdistanced the spiritual ends for which we live…The problem is with man himself and man’s soul…My friends, all I’m trying to say is that if we are to go forward today, we’ve got to go back and rediscover some mighty precious values that we’ve left behind.

That’s the only way that we would be able to make of our world a better world, and to make of this world what God wants it to be and the real purpose and meaning of it…The first is this—the first principle of value that we need to rediscover is this: that all reality hinges on moral foundations. In other words, that this is a moral universe, and that there are moral laws of the universe just as abiding as the physical laws.

I’m not so sure we all believe that…I’m not so sure if we know that there are moral laws just as abiding as the physical law. I’m not so sure about that. I’m not so sure if we really believe that there is a law of love in this universe, and that if you disobey it you’ll suffer the consequences…The first thing is that we have adopted in the modern world a sort of a relativistic ethic.

Now I’m not trying to use a big word here; I’m trying to say something very concrete. And that is that we have accepted the attitude that right and wrong are merely relative…But I’m here to say to you this morning that some things are right and some things are wrong. Eternally so, absolutely so.

It’s wrong to hate. And so long as we adopt this relative attitude toward right and wrong, we’re revolting against the very laws of God himself. Now that isn’t the only thing that convinces me that we’ve strayed away from this attitude, this principle. The other thing is that we have adopted a sort of a pragmatic test for right and wrong—whatever works is right. If it works, it’s all right. Nothing is wrong but that which does not work.

If you don’t get caught, it’s right. That’s the attitude, isn’t it? It’s all right to disobey the Ten Commandments, but just don’t disobey the eleventh, “Thou shall not get caught.” That’s the attitude. That’s the prevailing attitude in our culture. No matter what you do, just do it with a bit of finesse. You know, a sort of attitude of the survival of the slickest. Not the Darwinian survival of the fittest, but the survival of the slickest—whoever can be the slickest is the one who right.

It’s all right to lie, but lie with dignity. It’s all right to steal and to rob and extort, but do it with a bit of finesse. It’s even all right to hate, but just dress your hate up in the garments of love and make it appear that you are loving when you are actually hating. Just get by! That’s the thing that’s right according to this new ethic.

My friends, that attitude is destroying the soul of our culture. It’s destroying our nation. The thing that we need in the world today is a group of men and women who will stand up for right and to be opposed to wrong, All I’m trying to say to you is that our world hinges on moral foundations. God has made it so…

There is something in this universe that justifies the biblical writer in saying, “You shall reap what you sow.” This is a law-abiding universe.  This is a moral universe. It hinges on moral foundations. If we are to make of this a better world, we’ve got to go back and rediscover that precious value that we’ve left behind….

Well this you say, “Why is it that you raise that as a point in your sermon, in a church”…But we must remember that it’s possible to affirm the existence of God with your lips and deny his existence with your life…And the world, even the church, is filled up with people who pay lip service to God and not life service.

And there is always a danger that we will make it appear externally that we believe in God when internally we don’t.

We say with our mouths that we believe in him, but we live with our lives like he never existed.

That is the ever-present danger confronting religion. That’s a dangerous type of atheism…The materialism in America has been an unconscious thing. Since the rise of the Industrial Revolution in England, and then the invention of all of our gadgets and contrivances and all of the things and modern conveniences—we unconsciously left God behind…We just became so involved in getting our big bank accounts that we unconsciously forgot about God…we had unconsciously ushered God out of the universe…

And may I say to you this morning, that none of these things can ever be real substitutes for God.

Automobiles and subways, televisions and radios, dollars and cents can never be substitutes for God. For long before any of these came into existence, we needed God. And long after they will have passed away, we will still need God.

And I say to you this morning in conclusion that I’m not going to put my ultimate faith in things.

I’m not going to put my ultimate faith in gadgets and contrivances. As a young man with most of my life ahead of me, I decided early to give my life to something eternal and absolute. Not to these little gods that are here today and gone tomorrow, but to God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Not in the little gods that can be with us in a few moments of prosperity, but in the God who walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death, and causes us to fear no evil. That’s the God. Not in the god that can give us a few Cadillac cars and Buick convertibles, as nice as they are, that are in style today and out of style three years from now,  but the God who threw up the stars to bedeck the heavens like swinging lanterns of eternity…

I’m not going to put my ultimate faith in the little gods that can be destroyed in an atomic age, but the God who has been our help in ages past, and our hope for years to come, and our shelter in the time of storm, and our eternal home. That’s the God that I’m putting my ultimate faith in. That’s the God that I call upon you to worship this morning…

If we are to go forward this morning, we’ve got to go back and find that God.

That is the God that demands and commands our ultimate allegiance. If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover these precious values: that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control.

 

Even Something God Can’t Do

There are age-old questions that are sometimes asked, especially when it comes the idea of God being omnipotent.

“Is there anything God can’t do?”

“Can God make a rock so big that God couldn’t lift it?”

It’s been said by experts that God won’t do anything that is contrary to his character…but just how big is God anyway; is he big enough for my problems? Is God big enough for unfaithful spouses? Is God big enough for lost jobs? Is God big enough for wayward kids? Is God big enough for cancer? Is God big enough for sexual abuse? Is God big enough for loneliness? Is God big enough for financial ruin? Is God big enough for an unsaved husband? Is God big enough…

I was reading during one of my quiet times with God this week when I realized there is something that even God can’t do!

I was reading Mark 6 and the account of Jesus visiting Nazareth. That would be the town of Nazareth in Israel…not the Middle Eastern deli on Route 161 & Cleveland Avenue in Columbus, Ohio; nor is it the Nazareth classic rock band of “Love Hurts” fame.

Here’s what the ESV says Mark 6:1-6 “He went away from there and came to his hometown, and his disciples followed him. ²And on the Sabbath he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished, saying, “Where did this man get these things? What is the wisdom given to him? How are such mighty works done by his hands? ³Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. ⁴And Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor, except in his hometown and among his relatives and in his own household.” ⁵And he could do no mighty work there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and healed them. ⁶And he marveled because of their unbelief. And he went about among the villages teaching.”

The question bubbled up from somewhere in my mind, “how is it that Jesus—the Son of God—God incarnate—couldn’t do any miracles?”

Jesus could turn water to wine, heal lepers, cast out demons; but in this instance he couldn’t do any miracles. THIS IS GOD! Jesus is God himself; Creator of the Universe and Former of the world, yet He’s powerless.

The lack of faith/belief on the part of the people is what made Jesus/God powerless to do miracles. Jesus’ own relatives, those in his hometown inhibited his ability to do miracles.

Why?

Can’t God do what God wants to do?

Somehow, evidently, God’s/Jesus’ working of miracles is predicated upon people wanting and allowing Him to work.

This all makes me wonder; is it any different today?

In the Church, in our lives, is there a lack of power, lack of miracles and the work of Jesus because in the Church, in our lives, people simply don’t have the faith to believe it can happen, or, even, that we don’t want it to happen?

Jesus was willing, ready, anxious to do great things, but the people weren’t.

What kind of people are we?

 

K-Tel, WCIT, CKLW and Jesus

For more than 3 decades I’ve had this song floating around in my head; actually it been two songs. All I could conjure up were a few lines of the songs but never knew the title of them; there have been times when I wondered if they really existed or if I had just listened to too much AM radio as a teenager.

The song which was most enigmatic to me had the line in it “This is your song
yes I’m tellin’ the world there’s no living without you couldn’t be wrong ’cause I wake up every morning thinking about you.” Throughout the 70s, 80s and 90s this tune would occasionally pop into my skull as though it was anchored somewhere deep in my memory.

I suppose I thought about this song a few times a decade once I’d moved beyond the 70s. Over the past few years I’ve thought about the song and this weekend I chose to mine the internet to see if I could get some closure to where I heard these two songs and why they stayed with me.

All I had to go on was the one line of the song so I did a Google search and to my surprise I found the song. For years all I could think of was Elton John’s “Your Song” but I was positive it wasn’t Elton John, and sure enough it wasn’t. I discovered the song was actually titled “This Is Your Song” sung by this guy from Canada named Don Goodwin.

It was one of those One-Hit-Wonders that somehow made it to my hometown radio station WCIT and a station we used to get out of Detroit and Canada CKLW.

As I researched the song more I discovered it had been released on a compilation LP titled “Music Power: 22 Original Hits, 22 Original Stars” by K-Tel. I remember the K-Tel TV advertisements of the 1970s with their gaudy colors and enticing sound bites of tunes that were on each LP (that’s vinyl for anybody who was born after 1980).

There was something akin to an internal squeal when I clicked on a website that actually showed the LP cover and listed the songs and artists. As I read through the song list I began to recognize many of the song on the LP; Olivia Newton-John’s “Let Me Be There”, Gladys Knights and The Pips’ “I’ve Got to Use My Imagination”, Edgar Winter Group’s “Free Ride” and Barry White’s “Never Never Gonna Give You Up”.

And…there listed as the second song of side one of the LP was Don Goodwin’s “This Is Your Song”…beautiful. Imagine my surprise when I discovered somebody had uploaded it to YouTube and I could listen to it. Man! My mind drifted back thirty-six years to 1973 as I listened to the song and suddenly it hit me; I think I owned the LP when I was sixteen years old.

All the songs seem to fit perfectly into my old head; several of them being other One-Hit-Wonders; K-Tel was brilliant. As I scrolled down the song list there on side two of the LP was the other song that had been flitting around in my head for decades—“Could You Ever Love Me Again” by a couple of cats named Gary and Dave, also from Canada.

Wow! It was like finding out you weren’t crazy after all. It was kind of like finding your initials you’d carved in a tree as a kid and after all these years they were undisturbed. I think I can finally sleep at night now, knowing I’m okay.

I discovered some things about K-Tel; they continued to put out compilations of music until the late 90s. I’m guessing the emergence of the internet and online music providers kind of kicked their butts. In a last ditch effort to be a viable company K-Tel joined forces with Playboy in an attempt to bolster online music sales but they ultimately shut things down.

There’s currently a K-Tel website in development in which it looks like all those great compilations of the 70s, 80s and 90s will be available sometime in the near future on CD or downloads.

I find out this other song “Could You Ever Love Me Again” is on YouTube also; how cool is that! But, I really would like a copy for my Ipod or to buy and burn to a CD. So, I’m researching these dudes Gary and Dave and find a Canadian website that has four of the songs off their Together LP online that you can listen to.

I’m listening to the songs and reading the musical history of the two guys, which included stints with bands called “Edgar And The Allan Poes”, “The Kingbees” and “The Diplomats.” They toured in the mid-70s with the pop group The Stampeders of “Sweet City Woman” fame; another 1970s AM Gold song.

So…all these years later my psyche is quieted because I discovered these songs really existed, and they’re available on YouTube. And maybe someday K-Tel will get that website up and running and I’ll download a couple of memories. But I learned something pretty cool about Gary and Dave that just kind of made me smile.

The guys—Gary Weeks and Dave Beckett–split up in 1977 and became airline pilots for a Canadian company for a while; later Gary Weeks became a Christian missionary and moved to Ireland to serve Jesus. Thanks K-Tel! Thanks Jesus!

 

How I Missed 4 Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl Championship Games

            Brennan Manning, the former Franciscan priest and alcoholic wrote “The legalists can never live up to the expectations they project on God.”

            When I began my journey with Jesus 35 years ago I somehow managed to begin attending a Baptist church that was quite legalistic; a good Christian didn’t play cards (of any kind), didn’t dance, didn’t go to movies, didn’t listen to rock music and read only the King James Bible (plus several other things).

            I was a true adherent to legalism because I didn’t know what else to be. I remember living that way for the better part of fifteen years. I am a HUGE Pittsburgh Steelers fan, however when the Steelers won their four Super Bowls in the 1970’s I never saw a game live on TV because it was always on Sunday night; and as a good legalist I was in church on Sunday night (and Sunday morning and Wednesday night and New Years Eve).

            It took me those fifteen years to begin to get to the point where I understood that I was free in Christ; that playing cards, dancing, movies and rock music in and of themselves are not evil, but my motives and what I do with those things are what can lead to sin.

            In 1989 I began a radical shift away from legalistic living, so much so that the pendulum of my life swung extremely far in the other direction—I took my Christian liberty quite literally. As such I really didn’t care what anybody in the Church thought about it if I did play cards (including gambling), I didn’t care what anybody thought about me going to clubs to dance and have a good time, I didn’t care what anybody thought if I went to an R-rated movie and I certainly didn’t care what anybody thought when I listened to rock music and performed as a DJ.

            I didn’t become a hard-core drinker or hang out at bars, but if I wanted a glass of wine, a wine cooler or a whiskey sour I would have one. I loved dancing with my (to be) wife at clubs that played trans-techno, club, house and hip hop music. I didn’t become a debauched backslider, I just understood for maybe the first time in my life that I was free in Christ.

            About ten years ago I began a deeper journey with Christ and I began to notice some changes in myself. The deeper I journeyed with Christ the less appealing some of that stuff that I was free to do became to me. I’m a music freak and love all kinds of music, but one night while I was DJing for a wedding reception I saw a dance floor full of twentysomething young adults, including the bride and groom, having a raucous time to a song I was playing; Highway to Hell by AC/DC.

            It was in that moment the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said “what are you doing?” You’re proclaiming Christ to people, yet you’re providing the inspiration for this group of people to party like hell (for hell).

            The Holy Spirit showed me the huge incongruity in my life.

            Over the past ten years as my journey has deepened more with Christ I’ve noticed something a little peculiar; the pendulum of my life has swung significantly back toward what looks like the legalistic side of things. I say “what looks like” because rather than being told how I am to live by a person I am being gently persuaded by the Holy Spirit in the areas of personal holiness and purity.

            I still play cards any time I want to; in fact when I get together with my brothers during the holidays we play for money. I still go to the movies that I want to, but now I’m definitely under the influence of the Holy Spirit when I get ready to choose a movie. I still dance; I went to a great 70s party several months ago and had a great time. In all those things my motives were pure.

            I’m certain that sometimes when I preach, the message may come across as legalistic—it certainly would have seemed that way to me twenty years ago when I took my Christian liberties to the extreme that I wanted, and did what I wanted, without regard for what the Holy Spirit might want.

            In recognizing that the pendulum has swung significantly in the other direction I am careful not to do what Brennan Manning describes when he suggests that the legalist cannot live up to the expectations they project on God; there is only one perfect God, we humans cannot be perfect. However, our inability to be perfect should not stop us from pursuing God’s perfection; in fact scripture tells us to do just that (1 Peter 1:16).

            What I observe way too often in the Church are people who were just like I was twenty years ago; people who take their Christian liberties and do what THEY want without regard for what God might want. Because of that, the pursuit of personal holiness and personal purity is not a pursuit of some people—rather being sin managers becomes the focus.

            We become sin managers by knowing all the stuff we’re not supposed to do (steal, lie, lust, cheat, cuss) and work really hard at not doing those things, but that doesn’t make us holy or pure, and it also doesn’t demonstrate that we’re living in a new kingdom.

            Living in a new kingdom means living like the King lives.

            I think Brennan Manning sums it up well when he also writes “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today are Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle…That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.“

            As a legalist I had it entirely wrong, I was attempting to live a godly life because somebody said I needed to. Now, I’m attempting to live a godly life, and lead others in doing that same thing, because I love Jesus and want to be part of his pure Bride. Which leads me to a question: Can one ever become too pure or too holy?

 

Van Gogh, the Apostle Peter and Malchus

I’m not an artist, never studied art, but our church operates an emerging artist art gallery in the Short North for each Gallery Hop.

I never thought I would use Vincent Van Gogh and the Apostle Peter in the same sentence accompanied by a little known man by the name of Malchus, but hey, I suppose if you live long enough stranger things will happen.

I was reading John 18 this morning about Jesus’ betrayal in the Garden by Judas. The turncoat disciple had come to the Garden knowing this is where Jesus often gathered with his followers. Judas came with a band of soldiers and officers that the chief priests and Pharisees had assigned to him; they were armed with torches and weapons in the middle of the night.

“Whom do you seek” was Jesus’ question when they arrived. Their response was “Jesus of Nazareth.” “I am he” Jesus replied and at that the group fell down like a row of dominos; or the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes if you prefer.

Jesus poses the question a second time, with the same answer coming from the soldiers. At that moment the Apostle Peter drew his sword and cut off the right ear of Malchus the servant of the high priest. I guess the guy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I got a vision of a WWE Smack Down when I read this, you know, kind of like one of those wrestlers knocking an opponent to the mat, only to leap into a flying head scissor just as the guy is getting up off the mat, showing him no mercy.

As I read this for some reason I was reminded of Vincent Van Gogh…you know, the whole ear thing. Van Gogh had an amazing and interesting life; unless one has read or studied the life of Van Gogh they probably aren’t aware that he was a missionary in Belgium ministering to a poor coal mining town, to those considered the most wretched and hopeless in Europe when he was in his mid-twenties.

Van Gogh was so committed to ministry that he lived in a decrepit small hut and slept on straw, for which the church authorities dismissed him because he was giving the priesthood a bad name. Imagine that! (Van Gogh’s commitment reminds me of Jesus when he said the birds have nests but he had no place to call home and lay his head at night.)

That was a turning point in Van Gogh’s life, after which he began to pursue art and a life that was the polar opposite of what he had previously been committed to. At various times Van Gogh lived with an alcoholic prostitute and multiple times contracted syphilis and gonorrhea, and was accused of impregnating one of his young models. It has been speculated that syphilis contributed to his mental collapse.

At 35 Van Gogh was hanging out with the famous artist Paul Gauguin. Once their friendship had deteriorated Van Gogh began to stalk Gauguin with a razor and it was at that point that he cut part of his own left ear lobe off and gave it to a prostitute to keep for him.

Life spiraled out of control for Van Gogh until he was institutionalized and finally killed himself by shooting himself in the chest with a revolver.

Impetuous Peter was quick to draw his sword and quicker yet to shoot his mouth off; multiple times in scripture we see Peter get himself in trouble instantaneously. However, over some years as he grew closer to Jesus his knee-jerk reactions began to temper and he ultimately became a mature follower of Jesus. Van Gogh’s life seemed to flow in the opposite direction; he’d started off strong with the Lord but little by little moved away from Jesus and was literally and figuratively consumed by the wretched world around him. And, poor Malchus, he was just stuck in the middle, losing an ear for no good reason.

 

I Cried Today

I guess I must be a tough guy, a hard ass, impervious to true sensitivity. About two months ago my wife and I were talking and she asked me, “when was the last time you cried.”

As we talked it became apparent that my wife had never seen me cry. Somewhere lodged in my mind might be the thought that to publically cry might be a sign of weakness—but that’s just me self-analyzing, but it could be true.

I told my wife that I had cried just a week earlier; I explained that in my time with God I cry regularly, she just doesn’t get to see those times.

I cry for several reasons. I cry out of joy; I know God, how amazing is that, that the Creator of all the worlds would reveal himself to me? I cry because I’ve been crushed with the truth of my own wickedness; God has placed a mirror in front of me and shown me the awfulness of my behavior in the past.

I cry for my kids, both out of joy and concern. I cry because I’ve failed God. I cry for wandering friends and family. I cry because I recognized I’ve wasted a lot of my life. I cry because I feel the presence of God when I’m alone with him.

I cried today!

I sat in my bed spending time with God; I had a book about the Holy Spirit next to me, my Bible and a small journal I keep monthly—but I didn’t even get to any of those.

On my Ipod I had the song “Hear Our Praises” performed by Hillsong. I began listening to the song just as a way of locating my heart next to God’s. Then, something unexpectedly happened, a worship service broke out. For some reason the lyrics to the song began to lodge in my cranium by some invisible force and the words rolled over and over until there were tears rolling down my cheeks. Of course my wife wasn’t around, as usual; I think she was having coffee and entertaining our cat, Ms. Kitty.

I think it was the shear joy of the words that captivated me…

 

may our homes be filled with dancing
may our streets be filled with joy.
may injustice bow to Jesus
as the people turn to pray.

 

            “May injustice bow to Jesus” had a particularly strong effect on me; I think that’s when the first tears came. What an amazing prayer; that all the injustice that our world suffers from would bow to Jesus!

            Then the chorus began…
from the mountains to the valleys
hear our praises rise to You,
from the heavens to the nations
hear our singing fill the air.

And, in that moment I just got a much bigger glimpse of heaven and the glory of God. It was God himself who was carrying my praise…our praise…from the mountains to the valleys…praise to Him! And, I remembered that God’s love is for the world—not just me. I’ll come back to that in a moment.

may Your light shine in the darkness
as we walk before the cross
may Your glory fill the whole earth
as the water o’er seas.

So, I found myself undulating in the pure joy of knowing God, and so much so that I got out of the bed, cranked the volume higher, and just worshiped God there by myself…tears flowing down both cheeks. Too bad my wife wasn’t there, I would have slipped one of my ear buds out and given it to her and we could have worshipped together.

            Then there came a point where I simply couldn’t contain myself anymore; it was the bridge of hallelujah’s. I can’t put it into words, just thankfulness.

hallelujah.hallelujah
hallelujah,hallelujah…
hallelujah,hallelujah
hallelujah,hallelujah

So, I cried today. It wasn’t mushy stuff—it wasn’t over some “chick flick” I’d watched with my wife, it wasn’t because I’d heard somebody’s story of rescue, freedom and redemption at the hands of God. I think it was because I was made aware of my own redemptive story at the hands of God.

After listening to “Hear Our Praises” a half dozen times I settled in to read, but that never happened either. I began to listen to a song called “Spirit Song;” it was an instrumental performed by a guy named Michael Gettel, and God triggered something in my mind.

At that moment I remembered a guy from my hometown that I used to be friends with, his name was Kenny Gatchel. In that moment I heard the whisper of God say “pray for Kenny Gatchel, wherever he might be right now; pray that he would hear My voice and know that I love him.” So I did.

Then, seemingly out of the blue God seemed to bring to my mind names of people I hadn’t thought of in years, even decades, and prompted me to pray that same prayer for them. That’s when I remembered that God’s love is for all people; everybody in the world. I hadn’t spoken with Kenny Gatchel in thirty years. Hallelujah!

 

Blood Sugar Sex Magik

In 1991 Red Hot Chili Peppers cut a CD with the title Blood Sugar Sex Magik; that could have been the title given to my weekend at Comfest this past weekend.

Friday afternoon started off pretty innocuous as I manned our booth with my friend, John, We were giving out free Frisbees this year with our church’s name and logo emblazoned on them. It was pretty cool tossing a disc fifteen or twenty yards to somebody you made eye contact with as they moseyed through the park.

It was a swelter summer afternoon; high humidity and in the upper eighties. Mid-way through our shift I walked over to the Lemonade Shake Up shack that sat on Park Street and bought us a couple of drinks. HOLY COW! I couldn’t recall pure sugar with a drop or two of real lemon juice sloshed around in some water tasting so good—that’s where the SUGAR part of the weekend came from. By the time my shift ended around 5:30pm I felt like a piece of chewed gum somebody had just spit out, I was so sticky and hot.

When Saturday rolled around the weather had turned much better; the humidity was down, as was the temperature. My shift at our booth started around 6:00pm and another friend named John manned it with me Saturday night. There was an utter mass of humanity that filled the Park and the adjacent streets Saturday; at one point the beer tent on Park Street was lined with twenty-five people wide, stretching completely across the street and about twenty yards into Goodale Park, there were two other, bigger tents on Goodale Boulevard.

The sidewalk in front of our booth reminded me of the conveyor belt walkways they have at some airports; so many people were passing by that it was difficult to make eye contact with them. The scene on Park Street and Goodale Boulevard was elbow to elbow. I had a sense there was something in the air that I couldn’t put my finger on— sort of an oppression, but not. I don’t really know how to describe it, maybe a feeling of uneasiness?

I spent about forty-five minutes talking with Heather. I attempted to hand her one of our small buttons that said “Don’t Waste Your Life” on it. As I extended my hand I mentioned we were a church in the Short North, and when I said that she withdrew her hand. “I’m not really into church” she said. She was a nice girl around twenty-five years old, but with a walker. I didn’t ask why she had to use a walker, but for the next forty-five minutes we had a really intelligent, polite conversation about our differences.

Heather had some bad experiences with church; her dad was Jewish and her mom was Presbyterian. Some years ago she’d abandoned church and God and took a position as an atheist. She told me she had a sister who is Christian. Through our discussion I discovered that she wasn’t really atheist but agnostic; she left the door open that there was a possibility that there was a God. Our conversation was proof that intelligent people can have reasonable dialogue about something they differ on, without getting their panties in a bind.

Just before 8:00pm the police came down the sidewalk clearing people out of the way; they were followed by a golf cart ambulance that had a young dude stretched out on it; he wasn’t moving and was ashen white. We learned that he’d been stabbed about seventy-five yards from our booth. That was the BLOOD part of my weekend. I learned Sunday morning the guy had died; he was just eighteen years old. However, by Monday word was circulating that his own friend had stabbed him—ten times in the chest. But, by Tuesday I’d learned that his friend was trying to protect him from himself; evidently the guy was stoned out of his head and was stabbing himself.

After the excitement of the ambulance rolling by I had another forty-five minute conversation at just about sundown with a woman named Peggy. She was pleasant, gregarious, and slightly drunk. My friend, John talked with her friend, Matt while we talked. Peggy identified herself as a practicing pagan. During our conversation I discovered that meant that she was very in tune with nature, had ESP, had premonitions about things that would happen, she said she had the ability to cause tornados and stuff like that; she said she could bend the flame of a candle to a 45 degree angle with her mind.

That was the MAGIK part of my weekend. To speak with Peggy one would think she might be a Christian; she talked with God a lot, believed in Jesus, was very generous, and didn’t speak ill of people. She used very colorful language—but that’s to be expected at Comfest.

I really believed Peggy when she told me some of the stuff she could do with her “gift.” I asked her if she ever wished she could be free of the “gift” and she replied “Oh God yes!” She mentioned there was an overwhelming responsibility with the “gift”. I shared some things about our church and my own faith in Jesus with her, but she indicated she could never be a Christian; I asked her why not and she said it was because she had that “stuff” in her genes.

What Peggy told me was that not only did she have the “gift” but that her mother had had it and her grandmother had had it too. She said, “couple hundred years ago they would have burned people like us at the stake.” I really liked Peggy—freaky—but I liked her. I mentioned to her about Mary Magdalene in scripture; even though she had had seven demons in her Jesus was able to free her from it. I told Peggy that Jesus could free her from what was in her genes too.

As our night was just about to finish on Saturday, about fifteen minutes until 11:00pm a young man and lady in their early twenties walked into our tent. They asked about some of our ministries and the things we were doing; then asked about a program we had at our church similar to Exodus International which helps those people who want to come out of homosexuality to come out.

I indicated to the guy and lady that we didn’t have a program like that, but we did have several individuals in our church who had chosen to come out of homosexuality—by their choice. This was the SEX part of my weekend. Almost immediately the guy and lady turned antagonistic toward us, even though I’d told them we didn’t have the type of program they were assuming we had.

The lady indicated she’d been raised Jewish and was now bi-sexual. We had quite a bit of conversation about the Old Testament, Jewish life and law, the scriptures, culture and we were miles a part in our beliefs. The guy wouldn’t divulge his sexuality nor his religious proclivities, but grew more antagonistic. I realized that they had come to pick a fight with us on the issue of homosexuality, knowing we were a church.

I indicated that my foundation for truth is the Bible; the guy indicated he had his own ideas about religion, but that they weren’t anything like mine. I told them I make no apology for what I believe, and made some very pointed statements to the lady about her heritage as a Jewish person. Our conversation ended abruptly, and maybe it was a good thing it did because the lady made some comments that I could have taken very personal.

Sunday was rather uneventful other than the fact that I was given five minutes on the gazebo stage to talk about our organization. I had nearly forgotten that I had signed up for the opportunity, and I was dead dog tired by Sunday afternoon.

I was at the booth for our 2:00pm shift change and once I got everybody settled in I headed home for lunch; I had just come from our church service a few minutes earlier. As I was leaving the Park I stood for a few minutes to listen to a pretty good reggae band jamming on the gazebo stage. As the band was finishing their last song the lead singer raised his arm and pointed his finger to the sky and said “glory to Jah.”

As I walked up Park Street to head to my car I heard one of the speakers on the stage as the reggae band was tearing down and the next band was setting up. The speaker identified himself and the organization he was with—a well known church in Columbus. A few people in the audience of several thousand booed the guy. In that moment Satan planted a seed of fear in me; I would be getting up to speak in a couple of hours and they might boo me too.

As I drove home I thought about the lead singer giving glory to Jah—Jah was the Rastafarian name for God. I thought, if he could give glory to God surely I could, even if some people booed me like they booed the other speaker.

My time to speak was 4:40pm and it rolled around really quickly. I was nervous, but talked to God about it. I took the stage as the two bands were setting up and tearing down; I introduced myself, mentioned that the organization I was with was Ekklesia Church just around the corner on Buttles Avenue. I mentioned that we were partnering again this year at Comfest with Camp Sunrise—a camp for kids ages 6-17 who are impacted by HIV/AIDS.

I went on to tell of other partnerships we have in the community; Wings of Hope a ministry to the homeless, Blood: water mission that drills clean water wells in Africa to help prevent the spread of AIDS and Project Open Hand an organization help adults living with AIDS/HIV. There were no boos to this point. I indicated we had a booth about a hundred yards to the south of the gazebo.

I finished my talk off by saying we’re trying to help people because we believe that that is what God would do. And, my last statement was “We want to make Jesus famous in the Short North.”

There were no boos and my weekend of Blood Sugar Sex Magik ended a couple hours later.

 

I Hate God

“They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.”

I was reading the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Romans when I came across this in chapter one. What was particularly interesting to me was what Paul said when he wrote “…they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator who is bless forever! Amen.”

Sometimes, we Christians, want to condemn people for behavior that seems perverse or evil; people like pedophiles, whores, hookers, pornographers, pimps, sluts, politicians, lesbians, homos, perverts, rapists and the such. In essence we condemn their behavior which is nothing more than symptom.

All of those acts and lifestyles are symptoms of people who’ve suppressed the truth about God…that he is God, he is glorious, and he is Creator. The truth that has been suppressed is that He is worthy of worship. When suppression happens, as Paul observed, people exchange worshiping the Creator for worshiping the creature (or, created things). We become self-worshippers.

In reading history one would have to conclude that Paul gave a pretty fair assessment of Roman life. Historians and archeologist have documented the perversity and pleasure that drove Roman culture and society.

Paul didn’t just pick out the outrageously perverse, he gave us a snapshot of the full spectrum of those who suppress the truth about God; some are full of envy, but aren’t a pedophile; some murder, but aren’t a whore; some catalyze strife, but aren’t hookers; some practice deceit, but aren’t pornographers; some engage in maliciousness, but aren’t pimps; some are gossips and slanderers, but aren’t sluts.

Right in the middle of his list the Apostle Paul plants the fact that they are “haters of God.” One has to hate God more than ones self in order to suppress the truth about God. God can’t be as important as I am…therefore “I hate God” is the reality.

As such they can be insolent or haughty, lesbian or politician, boastful and inventors of evil, homos and perverts, disobedient to parents and foolish, or rapists; and in so being they are faithless, heartless and ruthless. That pretty much described life in Rome.

As I read this it sounds all too familiar; it sounds like America. All the junk is just symptom of what we’ve done to suppress the truth about God…that he alone is worthy of worship.